Saturday, October 23, 2010

Really now?

Yes really. I got SMOKAGE!! WOO!! Go me. I got a good bit too. I smoked eight bowls back to back, and now I am high as fuck. I am beyond cloud nine. I am talking to Kevin and I think I like this kid and I am dropping him hints and I hope he is picking up on them. I at least want a shot with him.

I write deep shit when I am high...

Examples :

EXAMPLE A:) Well I will tell you what I live by, Everything happens for a reason, and there are no coincidences. Everything happens when it is supposed to, and some things that you notice can mean more than what they appear. Honestly that is what I live by, so it helps cut out drama and stress. I quit going to parties all together and realized I had to do what is best for me right now. So I put myself first, and watch and see what happens day to day. I don't look for that guy that I am going to be with. I see what plays out and if it is meant to be it will happen.
EXAMPLE B :) I want a relationship. I have liked this boy and thought I felt a connection with him the first time I seen him. I really feel that if we had a shot that it could work out. I feel like I am ready for a relationship, well almost. I feel like I need closure with James first. I feel as though I should write him and explain my feelings and how I feel and see how he replies. Maybe we are meant to be together. I don't always want to wonder what if? I want to know if it is really over, and the connection is gone. I don't think it is. I love this boy with all of my heart. I don't know why I fuck up every time with him. I have been the one to do it every time. FML! I wish I didn't. I still have the bear he gave me. I still love him. I need to know if it is over, or if I have a chance of us fixing things.
Well now that I am almost crying I think I will quit. I think it is time for another bowl or two, a cigarette, and TV. So I will possibly write more. Don't know though. So if not good night ♥ I will probably cry myself to sleep. :(
If I Die Young - The Band Perry ♥
I fell in love with this song. I am going to have to check out more of their music.
My FB status as of about a minute ago :
I don't want to always wonder "What if?" I think I know what needs to be done. I just don't know if I am ready to know the answer; if I even get one. Love songs don't help much either, it is just like something to cry to. :( I think I am going to lay down.


  1. I hope things work out for you. :-)

  2. Fickle Cattle : I hope so too, and thank you :)

    Egyptian Knight : Why of course we could be friends, I see no reason why not.